12:28 p.m. - 2004-02-23
i was newly there, i remember. i was staying on the living room couch of a crowded little townhouse. but it didn't matter to me: the beach was right across the street. i recall thinking how the days seemed longer there and how happy i was. how content. so unlike the me here. i honestly do not remember much else of my first day as a california resident. except that i couldn't wait to fall asleep, becuase then, tomorrow would be that much closer.
the dream, not the first of its nature, helped me see how badly i want california. how badly i want to be a part of it and how i want it to be a part of me. i am going to get there. no matter what it takes. i will live there and love there. and i am so nauseatingly excited to do so. whenever i have these dreams, i am immediately motivated to do better. so that is where i stand now. motivated to do better. to live in california. i have to. there is no other place in this world for me. sublime and the beach? what more could i want? nothing.