12:58 p.m. - 2004-04-11
everytime i see him, i tell myself, this is the last time. but really, this was the last time. i realized that he just uses me to relieve himself. well, duh, i do it too, but its different. but that depressed me more.
last night i went to mike's again. i think i had sex with someone, but i dont know their name. i wish i could remember, but bars wipe out your memory entirely.
id gone for a walk, in search of a playground and instead found 2 hotties in an SUV. the bars took over and i found myself at his house. he sent his friend out and kept begging me to suck him off. no, instead i let him fuck me. i hate myself. why do i do this? 2 guys in 24 hours, not to mention mike and i less than 24 hours before nate.