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4:25 p.m. - May 22, 2004
v to the i to the c-t-o-r
hmm...what to say?

i want victor. so much. hes been playing with me for the past year and a half. not on purpose though. i think he has no interest in me. no, that cant be it. im not conceited or anything, far from it, but looking back on my record, i have gotten every guy i ever wanted. even if it takes years-i get them.

i fell in love with dylan when i was 9. he was my second kiss (and third) when i was 14. glen i pined for since the summer right after 8th grade. i finally got him in the beginning of 12th.

some guys ive gotten after a very minimal yearning time.

i never really noticed tito, but then one day i thought about the possibilities and 2 days later he was in my bed. it took me less than 36 hours to get ufo to forget about the 16 year age difference.

and now i want victor. maybe he is playing with me. once, he im'd me and then signed off immediately. and when i asked him why he doesnt like me (which is code for why havent you made a move on me) he said, i never said that. just last night, although his car is prolly gonna blow up at any moment, he said that if i wasnt hanging out with my friend that he was planning to drive up to fort lauderdale to surprise me. hes so cute! and he doesnt have sex with every pussy that comes his way. i think thats why i want him so badly right now. i want to see if i can get him. he doesnt go out much and doesnt drink or do drugs. so, hes sober all the time-which could make it harder. but i love the challenge.

wow, i dont know why i am going on and on about this guy that i hardly know. but he is really cute. and hes got the puerto rican accent and....swoon. wanna see a pic?

okay, well, yeah. the last thing i have to say is that wed better have sex before i go away to school. i couldnt live with myself knowing i didnt get someone i wanted. itd be heartbreaking and such a blow to my self-esteem. why am i still here? i love typing. k, bye...


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