6:06 p.m. - March 14, 2006
i once was lost-and still am
i have lost myself.
ever since the day i came back, its been happening...like any inevitable that creeps upon you.
all of the drugs. and the randomness of this life.
i have gotten accustomed to thing i should never have been able to get accustomed to.
i have built expectations that are of the utmost insanity-i know that, yet they are still there.
i have few goals. and the goals i do hold i hold them far away. on this path that i am on, they are unattainable.
how, if i see myself falling down this hole, can i let it go on?
because i dont care. how can i care? theres nothing to care about.
its too hard. how have billions before done this? this growing up? how have they been able to let go of kid and evolve into grown-up? i still say grown-up for crying out loud.
i need help, but i will never seek it.
