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6:31 p.m. - April 09, 2006 not sure which, obviously... today we did the getty...this hell awesome museum in the hills of west l.a. i guess...not sure exactly where. obviously. san francisco tonight. our bus doesnt leave until 2 am, but we'll be getting to the bakersfield bus station early. i dont know exactly when. i dont know anything. i dont know whats wrong with me. this whole time here so far, ive been distant from myself. not on purpose-never on purpose-but still. its horrible. i feel like im not taking in california enough. this is a dream come true, but this whole time ive felt like ive been dreaming...im just living. not so much enjoying or breathing. just living. i need to wake up and smell the roses-or coffee...not sure... this is how my brain has been for months. i have a boyfriend, but i dont feel like it. i dont even know why i do. it just happened. i just fell into it. im still falling. not in love...just falling.
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