9:38 a.m. - October 19, 2006
it snuck upon me and slapped me. both cheeks, might i add.
what have i gotten myself into? my friend has become my boyfriend. do i know what lies ahead? i have no clue.
but im happy. im not happy with everything happy. but, its really easy to get those happy feelings flowing. i smile when i think of him. he hugged me in 7-11. and i smiled.
how long will it last? i have no clue! they dont usually last long with me. and i dont want this to be some month and a half venture. i want to see what long-term means.
but is it good to be with a guy who keeps going through long term relationships? gosh. i know he doesnt need this right now. why did i force him to be with me? why couldnt i wait?
because it was too hard to go there and not be able to have my way with him. and it was too hard not to go over there and to keep myself from seeing him.
dont fuck this up. dont fuck this up. dont hurt him. dont get hurt. now how is that possible? dont get hurt? where feelings are involved, that cant be an option. oh man. i want to see him right now. i want to see him tonight.