9:50 a.m. - November 07, 2006
but then, what about these feelings? its not just lust. if it were id be having doubts about the relationship by now. i mean, we're like a month in and im not planning on running or dumping him yet. thats almost a record. at least concerning the last 3 years it is.
im happy. hes the only thing in my life that makes me feel happy. when im starving and feeling like crying because ive no money to eat, it goes away with him. because i dont need to eat with him and i know hes hungry too.
god, i hate writing about boys and love and shit. i feel so stupid. but, i guess it comes with the territory of having feelings. of truly existing. which i havent done in a long time. i have a higher purpose than drugs right now.
he can give himself butterflies for me. has anyone ever had butterflies over me? little old me?
i dont see this ending anytime soon. thats a first. every other relationship i can predict the end from the beginning. this one doesnt seem to have an end in sight. and that doesnt bother me!!