1:24 p.m. - December 01, 2006
who knows? not me!!!
why am i such a bad person? i am so fucking selfish and self-involved! its retarded how much so, actually.
so, migs failed another drug test. the first time i talked to him afterwards i just found out i have to order a new debit card. all i could do was bitch about having to wait a week before i can spend money. whereas, he has to get a job to be able to have any money at all. its been over 2 months. god! i feel like such a bitch. he didnt deserve that.
he doesnt deserve me. and i dont say that in the way that im too good for him. hes too good for me. he doesnt need the shit i give out. he deserves someone who loves him as much as he does me. i love him-i think. i dont know what loves like. so i guess i dont know if i do or dont love him. but, i think id know if i did. i mean i do. i love him. but not like he does me. every day tho, i grow more and more attached. and thats good.
i dont know. im glad i have him. i just dont want to hurt him. hes the last person who deserves it. seriously, really. he doesnt deserve to be hurt by the likes of me. or anyone. hes way too good and great and amazing. i just dont want to hurt him. get bored. restless. tied down feeling.
hmm...i think if im already thinking like that, it may be too late. but...i dont know. im not breaking up with him or anything. i just..i dont know.
have i mentioned, i dont know?
