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8:41 a.m. - December 21, 2006
time is such an aggravation
god. pot really is a demotivator. if thats even a word. see, it also builds delusions or grandeur-creating words and using them like they exist. does that even count?

see, my brain is friend.

fried-not friend.

whenever i go to hallandale its all about impulse indulgences. its terrible. i hate it! there is very little balance. if you start smoking, you keep going. you keep going until you pass out. you start as soon as you wake up. then you go to another friends place and smoke on the way. then you smoke while youre there. then you go to a buffet. then you go get some more weed and smoke it back at the place where you started. then, when you think youre not capable of inhaling any more smoke-someone goes and buys more weed. and you find you are capable.

ugh! what am i writing? im pissed i wasted away my day yesterday. really, if anything, all i wanted to do was wash that backpack full of laundry. THAT WAS ALL!!! and i stayed up about three hours longer than i wanted to. and now, today at work, im dead. i stole a mondo-sized red bull this morning. it wont be enough. but itll get me thru half one of this day.

i like ponies. ponies are pretty. i want a fire breathing horse.

good lord. good. lor.d. ??? losing it folks. i cant go to that house! anymore. i just cant. id rather be at my house. with migs alone. if im at his house cable and tivo and pot suck me in. at home theres no cable and we have to much more sneak the pot thus smoke less.

dammit!! why couldnt coke be as cheap as pot? its way less smelly and gives me energy instead of depleting it. why?!


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