12:23 p.m. - January 13, 2007
i just want to cry!!! and i dont know why! i wish i could fly!
all of the above are true.
i just talked to miguel and he told me that last night, he "had a few beers".
i dont want to talk to him or see him. im sooo mad at him and i dont know why. and the only thing i feel capable of right now is breaking into tears. and why?!!! i am so mad at myself. so fucking mad!
god! when he told me everyone at the house was rolling last night, hard..it made me more angry. WHY?! he didnt do anything. he smoked and drank. so what? so fucking what?!
i dont want a boyfriend anymore. i got angry when i called karlos' phone and let it ring twice before hanging up. i got pissed no one answered?! and then that no one called me right back.
this is too much. i dont want a boyfriend. i cant handle feelings. i cant handle making myself this upset over nothing. and i know thats all it is. no one deserves these feelings that im cooking up here.
A FUCKING POINTLESS ENTRY ABOUT NOTHING!
and i still want to cry.