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9:25 a.m. - Saturday, Aug. 25, 2007
my heart changes with the seasons
i am going to be okay.

i. am. going. to. be. okay.

i kno that. i am okay.

ive been feeling so stressed about boys and the future of my love life and about normal stresses of life. but, im alright now. i dont care anymore.

i saw miguel last night. for the first time in at least a month. ive heard he has a new girlfriend. one that hes buying a ticket to incubus for. he never bought anything for me. but it doesnt matter. i cant bring that up. and i think hed like for me to hear that. i really do. hes not some revengeful person or anything. but after what ive put him thru-i think hed kind of regain some pride or dignity or whatever by having a girlfriend right now when i have no one. oh, but i forgot. kris is buying me a ticket. cool.

so that means i will have to see miguel and his new girl at the show. its very hard. but i am over it. its going to be different. but its just the beginning. for the rest of our lives he will have new girlfriends. and each one will be easier and easier to swallow. its just an adjustment.

well, i saw him last night. and for the first time i wasnt longing to hang all over him and keep his attention. thats how it usually is. but it was different. keeping in mind that there was someone else...i just dont care anymore. i blocked him weeks ago and deleted all his numbers. and im not storing his new one (its in my email tho-you never know).

im different. im going to be okay. right now, boys arent a thought in my mind. they dont matter. they cant control my feelings. i wont let them. im not letting them. im proud of myself. for the first time in a while. thats cool.


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