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11:13 a.m. - Wednesday, Jan. 02, 2008 sucks. im a bad person. i dont deserve anything i have. i deserve everything i get. i hate myself. and i hate these pity parties more. but i feel so...idk. i suck. i ruin everything i touch. not on purpose! not with any malintent. i swear. is that a word? malintent? when i say it it is, but not when i spell it. i wonder if my whole life i will be like this. a walking broken mirror. i wonder if any one will be able to love me. i wonder if ill be able to ever love someone. it doesnt feel possible. its scary. and lonely. this year is going to be mine. my independence year. i am going to get used to being by myself. itll be like this for a long time. i can tell.
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