11:13 a.m. - Wednesday, Jan. 02, 2008
im a bad person. i dont deserve anything i have. i deserve everything i get. i hate myself. and i hate these pity parties more. but i feel so...idk.
i suck. i ruin everything i touch. not on purpose! not with any malintent. i swear. is that a word? malintent? when i say it it is, but not when i spell it.
i wonder if my whole life i will be like this. a walking broken mirror.
i wonder if any one will be able to love me. i wonder if ill be able to ever love someone. it doesnt feel possible. its scary. and lonely.
this year is going to be mine. my independence year. i am going to get used to being by myself. itll be like this for a long time. i can tell.