4:51 a.m. - Saturday, Dec. 13, 2008
unfortunately...what i want involves someone else.
someone else can never be trusted. their minds change like the sky.
but i know. what i want.
im so strong.
i try to talk myself out of it sometimes. and when i actually think about it...i'm weak.
but, when a moment comes, i can move mountains.
im naive. sometimes. i see. i know.
whats wrong with that? innocence?
whats wrong is that i believe. in the naivete. i get pulled along in a current in what id rather believe. as opposed to the ocean that is life.
i love glen. i think he loves me.
but i dont think anyone is prepared for what i plan to embark on: a new life 3,000 miles away.
he thinks he can. and ill humor him. but, this is meant for me and me alone.
it hurts. im so alone. i thought i had cameo. i wish i had glen. but, i am alone.
im not dumb. i have eyes. i have a nose. i know.
i love him more than hell ever comprehend. our plan is to be eternally together. but, my gut tells me that its just me.
ill keep this between my gut and i.