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1:12 a.m. - Friday, Jun. 05, 2009
what now?

i do not even know. where to start.

tears flow.

so easily.

yet no words can follow.

then from where/whence do they come?

if no words are available to describe?

i dont know.

which makes it harder to transcribe.

i am ridiculously sad and lonely.

for the first time ever, i have been told by a professional to find love-a boyfriend.

what do i do with that??

i am not sure. but when he said it, i knew.

i deserve someone. its just no that easy.

i just sent hector an unwarranted set of lyrics. and for that i am sorry. but what can i do? i feel what i feel. and i do not want to feel sorry for that.

i am so afraid. i feel so unlovable. i feel so untouchable. i feel so....


i do not know who i am.

i do not know where i am going.

i dont even kno where i want to go!

i feel so alone! no one i kno knows how i feel. they wouldnt understand. even if i took this time to try and only get blank stares.

im so scared...

i am so SICK of saying that.


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