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12:13 p.m. - Sunday, Jul. 12, 2009 im scared and excited. brothers. its a first. i had cousins once... i hope it doesnt go sour. i hope it can materialize into something real and make the risk worth it. i hate when it fizzles. i want to be loved. i want to be held. i want to see his eyes when he looks at me. its been a long time. i shouldnt get ahead of myself here. maybe nothing will happen at all. maybe thats the smartest thing. but, no fun.
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