6:30 p.m. - Monday, Mar. 14, 2011
i feel like because i dont write so much these days that my life doesnt mean anything. thats silly. but still a chunk of me believes in legacy. and hopefully one day my words will mean something to somebody. not to mention to myself. i need to write more.
hes matthew. matt. my matt.
its been almost 4 years since ive belonged to a person. "belonged to" doesnt really titillate me but i actually love the fact that a person is willing to claim me. wants to. that concept fascinates me. so, who am i?
hes the sweetest person to ever love me. miguel and glen were sweet but they werent like this. idk what to do with it sometimes.
i spent what seemed like an eternity trying to cope and deal with what it means to be in a relationship. i think im getting the hang now.
i said i loved him the other day. do i mean it? do i yet even know what love is? even in this 25th year of conscious life? he said it first. i dont like to be so far behind. and i assume that soon i may mean it.
i wanted a relationship so bad. so, i got one. any old one? no. because he really cares about. im good. :) idk. but its so nice to have someone to hold you and to hold. and thats what ive wanted for soo long. and ive got it. so i aint about to dump on it. ima let it ride.
i care about him. he cares about me. he gives my body feelings when we touch and vice versa...well see if this age of mine truly yields wisdom.