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8:18 a.m. - Friday, Aug. 15, 2014
no infinity. no beyond
he asleep right now.

i know exactly how he looks. i can see him so clearly. angelic. soft face. not hard, angry, pensive.

with the foreshadow of a smile.

so peaceful. so at rest. such a polar difference in comparison to his awake self: an adhd ball of energy, fueled by passion, and blinded by immaturity and lack of self-control.

what am i going to do with him? with us? with myself? what can i do?

i fear the only power i have anymore is the power to end it. im not ready. or maybe i am. i dont want to be ready. i know that much. but, we dont always get to decide.

one year, 2 months, 2 weeks, and 5 days.


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