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1:16 p.m. - Wednesday, Dec. 28, 2016
3 men and a baby
My life is sure something fucked up.

I just want love. I just want to be loved. I want to love. I want acceptance. Companionship. Stability. Passion. Love.

I realized this morning that I actually have all of these things!

So why am I so damned miserable??

Because. Because it's taking 3 men to give me all of those and I want it from just one.

Not a specific one. But I mean don't want it to have to come from three people, just one.

TK- doesn't want me. Not like that. Which is fine most days, cuz I don't want him either- not like that. But fuck do I like looking at him! And just chillin..he also cooks and does stuff and is a good mover- I like that.

Jason. Mmmm Jason. He likes me. Calls me sexy and I think he means it. I like having sex with him. And finally after almost 6 months of trysts, last night I gave it to him the way I like it. And it takes some time for that- some comfort. But I did it and I was hardly drunk. He's got a 800 credit score. Is financially stable. Hot. Perfect. Except that he lives in Virginia. And comes down only a day or two at a time. So, I'll never be able to have anything with him. And I don't think he'd really want me if we lived in the same place. I have to appreciate what I have and I see it for what it is. Which is just fun. For now. Until it's just over.

I thought it was over a month ago but that was just me being me, I think. Whatever it was, we got over it and are better than ever. Wow- he's been here twice in the last week. Awesome.

Anyways. I want. I want these three men rolled into one to roll into meee! Where do I find him??? When will I?

I'm sick of being lonely. Waaaaaahhhh!!!


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