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10:16 p.m. - Monday, Jul. 06, 2009
my first brothers
this weekend was the most fun, exhausting, exciting, confusing weekend ive ever had.

i think i am in love. but thats silly. but, i have very strong feelings for this guy ive known for at least 3 years and never had a conversation with until 2 nights ago.

miguels brother and i couldnt sleep the night we got to orlando. so, we talked on the balcony all night and then at about 430 moved the conversation to down by the pool for the next 3.

it started by talking about drugs. what we like, where we do them, fun stories. just normal sharing. like at first it was strange because i never thought this guy had a thought going on-it turns out he has more than most.

we talked about god, evolution, self purpose, miguel, voodoo, 2012, death, love-everything i try to not talk about because its just too much. but with was easy. friday night was fucking amazing for me. especially since he told me he had a "kindergarten crush" on me the first time he saw me and then blurted out "youre so hot" in the middle of a conversation. AND WE WERE SOBER! that makes it all even more special to me.

i am not sure quite exactly how i feel about jon. i havent stopped thinking about him. i havent stopped feeling horrible that hes migs brother. the next night we got some whiskey and drove around orlando. that was awesome too. when we got back we sat around the pool and talked some more. its just been so long since this has happened. i want to see him or talk to him.

but hes going to have to come to me. he mentioned that he can have any girl he wants melt in his hands. not going to happen here. i want us to be friends though. to talk. i think we have a good foundation now. i sent him a friend request. so, well see what happens.

i havent even mentioned the hector part of the weekend. thatll have to wait for now though.


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