9:37 p.m. - Sunday, Aug. 16, 2009
mj
my heart rules.
he rules my heart.
its incredible how many facets, compartments, cubbies my heart has. for different people. in different times in different minds.
i never kno how i feel until i feel it at a certain moment. a year ago i felt completely different. but nothings changed except for my mindset.
he hasnt. i havent really.
but i love him.
i loved him before. i stopped. i stopped. i stopped in the sense that i was alright with him being with other girls.
now, hes not here. i miss. i miss him.
i miss him in ways ive never known him.
but i love him,
i loved him years ago. and years ago.
i got hurt. i got over it.
its hurt me all these years and ive just played jilted-but-still-faithful-wife.
he doesnt know. how id love him. how im perfect for him.
(i feel ive said this for someone else before, but i cant recall whom right now.)
hes not here right now. another state. across this country from me.
when he returns. i want to be it. i know what he wants. and that ive never been it.
i will. because i love him. i love him like hes never been loved. pure, true love michael. i love you.
