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10:16 a.m. - March 12, 2007
fast car
am i confused? am i right? am i completely off-track? who can tell me?

i wish i knew.

me and miguel are together. and im happy i think. its still been distant. since weve rejoined. which has been...a week i think. we havent had sex. we havent spent much one-on-one time. but im happy. i want us to have time together. i do. i want to get to kno him again. i want to still be a positive in his life.

the day after we broke up, he got his car. that helped a lot. that made us both a lot happier and took a lot of weight from our shoulders. were free with a car. we can get up and disappear when people suck around us. if we need anything we can go get it-instead of wait for someone to stop by or figure a way to get there on our own. its fun: speeding down the highway, green day/ratm/whoever blaring, cigarette out the window. so thats helped.

and when his car overheated last week, i feel like it brought us more together. going thru getting back home. it was nothing desperate or dire. it was nice-and something we shared, i guess.

it will be okay.

i feel like with this car, we can be okay. and be closer to being on our way out of here. i need to get out of here. i dont think ill make it forever here. and the longer i stay, the closer forever gets. if that makes any sense. but we have his car. and we can drive away. to texas. to georgia. to california. to wherever tomorrow takes us.


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