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7:48 a.m. - April 16, 2007
im 16 again. and i still havent talked to him on the phone for the first time. but i love him. or i will. its only a matter of time.

i am so happy. and gushing. and butterflying high. i dont know what to do with myself most of the time when i think of him.

a conquest that has seemed distant and impossible for the last year plus. but, today...the anticipation for wednesday is too much. i will love him-if i dont already. i just know it. and i will make him love me. i know that too. i just cant wait!

owen. my subway guy. is perfect. he asked me yesterday what i know about sublime. HA! what do i know?! what does he know??? we'll talk more about that after a movie one night or during a walk somewhere. god. hes going to make me happy. he already has and i still dont even know him. i have only seen him in the confines of the plaza-subway or the parking lot. but wednesday.

what should i wear? how should i play it? what should we do? good lord. he could replace you-know-who for me. i need that. oh, my god.

when he told me he was going to ask me for my number...i dont know what went through my head. and when he knew my name. i just wanted to scream and scream and cry and fuck and shoot up and jump over the moon. i feel like im in middle school or something. but im not-this is going to be amazing i hope.

i hope i dont come back here in a week cursing owen. owen. owen. owen. love me, owen. please. i need it. i want it. i can return it tenfold.

hurry up wednesday.


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