8:28 a.m. - Tuesday, May. 15, 2007
remember this date
thinking about him truly makes me smile. like, i dont even mean to or plan to (as much as you can plan a smile, i suppose). but, my heart feels happier or something. it does. it really does. its nice.
last night i told him i wasnt gonna hang out past 10. if he didnt call me by then, then id have to see him another time-too tired. so, 10:15, i change my clothes for bed. 10:34, phone rings...i get redressed. stupid. stupid. i know. i need to set boundaries, rules.
went to sams. we sat outside a lot. talked more than any once before. i still dont know how much i believe him. what he says. i dont want to go over everything. but, he really does want me to go to NH (to meet his mother, his friends, and go to two weddings or something). and he feels-as do i-how little we've seen each other in the past days. and, whether or not i 100% believe how much he really likes me, i believe that hes gotten used to me-as i have him-and that he does really miss me when we're apart.
i told him how shitty he made me feel the other night. and how dumb i felt for the whole thing-for trusting him. we went to my house and went to sleep.
as he was dozing off, breathing more labored, i asked him if i could be his girlfriend. he said hes been waiting for me to ask. then we slept.
i am excited. im going to live with him. even if it isnt in the efficiency, i am going to. we both need a place and because of opposite schedules we arent able to see enough of each other on a daily basis. he seems to have no qualms about the living situation. like, there was no facial hesitation...
enough love-spewing shit. im sorry. no im not. im happy. im excited as shit. for something new. i love somethings new. ahhhh.....im excited. i will love him. i know it.
