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10:00 a.m. - Tuesday, Dec. 18, 2018
i cant control how he feels.

i can only try to control how i feel.

thats really all i can do.

if the fires and sleepovers and inside jokes and card games and car rides and shots and dinners and dances and night swims dont make him want me then i dont know what else to do.

theres nothing.

hes just not that into you. hes just not that into you. hes just not that into me. it is what it is. even genies cant make someone fall in love. its a rule.

so, i have to adjust.

i have to be patient. and not crazy. and not hold my breath.

its a damn good thing pierre asked for my number the other night. something different to think about. not a bad thing to think about. i cant believe he asked for my number though. i was going to point out that a guy hasnt asked for my number in ages but twas just a couple months ago i and t asked for it at the same time. that was nice.

ive had this guy on my mind non fucking stop since practically the first time we met. over two months now. it feels like longer. and it doesnt. lifes weird.

is it so much to ask for someone i want to want to kiss me? i dont think it is. but clearly im wrong. i havent had a new years kiss in years. itd be nice. 13 days...well see. idk


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